Related:

• Q: Just what did you do to try to prevent the accident?
  A: I closed my eyes and screamed as loud as I could....
• Closed eyes are not always sleeping.
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• The sky was dark The moon was high All alone just she and I Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn't know how But I tried my best I started by placing My hands on her breast I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apart And when I did it I felt no shame All at once The white stuff came At last it's finished It's all over now My first time ever At milking a cow.
  .....
• THE MARRIED LIFE You know what I did before I married?
  Anything I wanted to. -- Henny Youngman The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it....
• Just shoot, I'll do my best.
• My wife is just as nice as can be, I hope she doesn't feel to nice toward me, For an afternoon of joy Is hell on the old boy.
  I wonder what the wife will want tonight!...
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
  looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
  The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here....