Related:

• Surgery: Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
  The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered....
• The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of the accidents in the fewest words.
  These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining....
• Sir, I admit your general rule, That every poet is a fool.
  But you yourself may serve to show it, Every fool is not a poet....
• Many have experienced the confusion of traffic accidents and have had to summerize correctly what happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms.
  The following quotes were taken >From those forms and were eventually published in the Toronto Sun Paper....
• The following quotes taken from the Toronto News on July 26, 1977, are actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible.
  Such instances of faulty writ- ing serve to confirm that incompetency can be highly entertaining ....
• Doctor Vs. Mechanic Larry was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr.
  Bill Johnson, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager....
• Ponderables... ** Never raise your hands to your kids.
  It leaves your groin unprotected. ** I'm not into working out....
• There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver.
  One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money!...