Related:

• A florist received an outraged telephone call from a man who had moved his restaurant to a new spot in town.
  The restaurant owner had been sent a funeral wreath along with a card that read...
• Roses smell better than onions but make bad soup
• Social Engagements You stay by her side the entire party 0 You stay by her side for a while
  hen leave to chat with a college drinking buddy -2 Named Tiffany -4 Tiffany is a dancer -6 Tiffany has implants -8 When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly +1 When mingling, you introduce her as "the old ball and chain" and pat her on the rump -5 When she points out a hot-looking woman and asks if you think she's pretty, you say, "Yes, but nowhere near as pretty as you" +1 When she points to a woman and asks if you think she's pretty, you say, "Yeah, but don't worry, she's lousy in bed" -6 That woman is her sister -90 You have one drink, and that's it 0 You have more than a few and perform the tango with a poodle....
• Life eludes logic.
• Originator of Fuzzy logic!
• Logic These two redneck fellas think that they've moved pretty far up in the world, and that the only way that they can better themselves is to further their education.
  So the one goes to the college administrator to sign up for some classes....
• Ah, the smell of it...
• Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...
• The best defense against logic is stupidity.