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• Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job.
  We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet!...
• It's Late. Go To Sleep.
• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
• leeping --- I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
  Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
• As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
• Husband Quotes: I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
  I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her....
• Many ALMOST Useful Facts: ** Debra Winger was the voice of E.
  T. ** Pearls melt in vinegar ** It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs....
• Boy, Can A Four Year Old Be Loud! Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning.
  As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Patty, apparently scared by the loud storm....
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...