50 Lbs Rice With Every Order Free can soda with orders over $100.
Chinese Food To Eat In Or Take Out
Soups
Dropped Egg Soup................1.75
* One Ton Soup....................1.75
Hot & Scalding Soup.............2.25
Ten Ingredients Water...........3.25
Sweet and Salmonella Soup.......2.95
* Chinese Fire Drill Soup.........2.50
* Happy Bacteria Cup..............2.50
Noodles
* Cellophane Noodles with
Styrofoam Peanuts...............5.50
Cold Noodles in Sesame Sauce....3.50
Some Glum Noodles...............8.25
No Fun Noodles..................4.75
Pork
New Shoe Pork...................6.75
Roasted Pork in Shriner Hat.....6.95
Recently Shampooed Pork.........6.95
Andrew Diced Pork...............9.75
* Roast Pork Puppy Chow...........7.25
* Porky Pig Cartoonese Style......7.50
Pork And Mindy..................6.75
Vegetables
* Broccoli in Human Sauce.........5.95
Shredded Documents
with Peking sauce.............5.25
* Bean Crud with
Special Rotting Fungus.........6.25
* Snow Shovel with Peas...........7.75
Egg Neil Young
Green Beans with
Black Bean Sauce..............4.95
Black Beans with
Green Bean Suace..............5.95
Eggplant Prepared Under
Mysterious Circumstances......5.95
* Baby Corn with Adoption Papers..4.95
Vegetables with
Tingling Horse Flavor.........5.50
Poultry
San Diego Chicken
with Pine Tar..................6.25
Battering Ram Chicken...........6.25
Peeking Daffy Duck..............7.50
* Lemon Pledge Chicken............6.25
Amazing Talking Chicken.........8.75
* Tongue Licked Duck..............7.50
Chicken & Grief.................6.25
Duck Edwing Prepared in
Questionable Taste............6.25
* Chicken Escaping With Wings.....7.75
Mocked Duck.....................7.25
* General Schwarzkopf Chicken.....6.75
Goofy Grinning Chicken..........6.75
Innocent Bystander Chicken......6.25
Moo Goo Guy Williams............8.75
* Moo Goo Guy Molinari............8.25
Moo Goo Guy Pan & Teller
in Disappearing Sauce..........4.50
Beef
Air-Dropped Beef................6.85
Double Chin Beef................6.85
* Beef with More Beef.............7.75
* Carnage Of Beef.................6.85
Sizzling Wanton Beef............6.85
Beef And Dried Pepper
Spilled on Lap.................9.25
Beef with Bad News..............8.85
* Great Barrier Beef..............6.85
* What's Your Beef................7.25
Seafood
Squished Eel Delight............8.50
* Shrimp with Alibi...............8.25
Young Dead Fish.................9.25
Crispy Fish with
Discarded Needle...............9.95
* Prawns in L.L. Bean Sauce.......7.50
Aromatic Octopus On Wheels.....10.50
Force Fed Shrimp................7.75
* Flounder with Water Pistol......8.95
Desserts
Unfortunate Cookies.............2.50
Sweet Fried Rolaids.............3.95
Ice Cream with Garlic Sauce.....2.75
* Boneless Pudding................3.50
Chicken Almond Ring Ding........3.95
CHEF'S SPECIALS
Sesame Streeet Duck..............11.75
Choice chunks of undernourished fowl
pelted with waterchestnuts and stir-
fried in a sizzling wok by popular
Muppets.
Overpriced Happy Family..........14.25
Scallops, crabmeat and psychotropic
mushrooms sauteed with fresh chef's
thumbs and served on a Sealy
Posturpedic.
Tienanmen Square Beef............17.75
Oppressed young beef, severely battered,
crushed with bamboo shoots and brutally
smothered as you watch from your table
on a big screen.
Health Inspector's Seafood Delight......FREE!!!
Fresh lobster, shrimp and prawns expertly
prepared in the clean Mexican restaurant
down the block, brought in through our
back door and served with a crisp fifty
dollar bill rolled in a napkin.
(Must be ordered in advance.)
