why is a fire engine red ? ( in parts of the world that it is red )
the fire engine has six wheels and six crew members.
six plus six is twelve.
twelve inches makes a foot.
a foot is measured by a ruler.
queen elizabeth is a ruler.
queen elizabeth is also a ship.
a ship sails in the sea.
there are fish in the sea.
fish have fins.
fins are the people off finland.
russia is finland's neighbor.
the russian flag is red.
therefore the fire engine is red.
( in parts of the world where it is red. )
On the subject of people with no arms or legs and what they can do, what do
you call a man with no arms or legs who's playing the piano?
... Clever Dick ...
What do you call a man with no arms or legs
face down in the garden?..................Pete
What do you call a man with no arms or legs
20 years older, on the wall?............Pop Art
What do you call a man with no arms or legs
in the trunk of your car?................Jack
What do you call a man with no arms or legs
trying to waterski?......................Skip
What do you call a man with no arms or legs
on the front porch?.....................Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
in a ditch?..............................Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
flying over a fence?..................Homer
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
buried up to the neck?.................Spike
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
waterskiing?............................Skip
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
in the ocean?............................Bob
What if he has mechanical arms and legs and is
swimming in the ocean?..................Rusty
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
in a swimming pool?......................Wade
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
hanging on the wall?......................Art
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
on the doorstep?.........................Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
in a pile of leaves?....................Russell
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
in a meat grinder?......................Chuck
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
on a BBQ grill?........................Frank
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs
on a BBQ grill?..........................Patti
What do you call a woman with no arms and one leg?
..........................................Ilene
What if she is Chinese?...................Irene
Where do they work?.......................IHOP
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs
hanging over a window?................Curt and Rod
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs
on a stage?...........................Mike and Stan
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
that's full of shit?.....................John
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
whose color is just a bit off?...........Hugh
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
who is pinned under a car?...............Jack
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
stuffed in a mailbox?....................Bill
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
lying beside a carnival ride?...........Ralph
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs
who work at the cemetary?............Doug and Barry
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
in a dump truck?.......................Rocky
What do you call this one man with no arms and no legs
who is amazed?.....................A Paul
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
lying on a lawyers' desk?................Will
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
being run over by a car?.................Lane
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
in a blender?............................Nick
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
in a bathtub?..........................Dwayne
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
on a chalkboard?........................Mark
What do you call a man with no arms and whose legs
are cut off at knees?....................Neil
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
under a bed?.............................Dusty
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who
has scoliosis (curvature of the spine)?......Ben
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs
that no one would bother to pick up?........Penny
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs
in a frying pan?.............................Pam
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs
by the ocean side?..........................Sandy
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs
that's foaming at the mouth?................Bud
What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs
who has a mural on him......................Van
What do you say to a woman with no arms and no
legs?.................................Nice Tits
What do you call the black stuff between an elephant's toes?
Slow pygmies!
Q: WHY ISN'T IT SAFE TO GO INTO THE JUNGLE BETWEEN THREE AND FOUR IN THE
AFTERNOON?
A: BECAUSE ELEPHANTS ARE JUMPING OUT OF TREES.
Q: WHY ARE PYGMIES SO SMALL?
A: THEY WENT INTO THE JUNGLE BETWEEN THREE AND FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON.
How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she's lying
down in tall grass?
VERY attractive.
How do you know if an elephant has been in your bedroom?
There's a dime on the nightstand and your mattress is missing.
What's six feet long and hangs from trees in Africa?
Elephant snot.
What is an elephant's sex organ?
His foot... If he steps on you you're FUCKED!
What do you do when an elephant comes through your window??
SWIM!!
Q: What do elephants use as tampons ?
A: A Sheep.
Q: Why do elephants have long trunks ?
A: 'cos sheep don't have strings.
Three proofs of the famous conjecture that all odd numbers strictly greater
than one are prime:
The mathematician: 3's a prime, 5's a prime and hence by induction ...
The engineer: 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, 9's a prime .....
The physisist: 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, experimental error, 11's a
prime .....
Computer scientist: 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, 7's a prime,
7's a prime, ...
Computer scientist using Unix: 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime,
segmentation fault
Statistician: 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, 9 is ... within
statistical error( 1 standard deviation etc) ...
Rabbi/Mullah/Priest: 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, God/Allah
willing 9's a prime ...
Political Scientist: 3's a prime.
The sociologist's proof that all odd numbers are prime: 2 is prime,
4 is prime, 6 is prime, ...
And the chemist: 3's prime, 5's prime, 7's prime, that's enough data...
Then there's the economist: We assume that all odd numbers are prime...
The pessimist scientist: -3's a prime, -5's a prime, -7's a prime,......
Music Theorist's logic: If 1, 3, and 5 is prime, that forms a perfect major
chord so all other major cords are prime (3,5,7; 5 7 9; 7,9,11...)
WEATHERMAN: 3'S A PRIME, 5'S A PRIME AND THERE IS 50% CHANCE
THAT 7'S A PRIME.......
The husband came home from the flea market and said to his wife:
-"Come out here, look what I bought ! A cage for tigers."
-"Are you in sane ? What are you going to put inside it ?"
-"Hey, listen here, I don't ask *you* things like that when you buy a bra."
-"My family is angry with me because I like pancakes."
-"Why ? A lot of people like pancakes; I like them too."
-"Really ? Do you want to see my collection ? I have more than 700."
-"Are you interested in sports ?"
-"No."
-"Do you smoke ?"
-"No."
-"Do you drink ?"
-"No."
-"Do you chase Women ?"
-"No."
-"What do you then do when you want to have fun ?"
-"I throw eggs on fans."
