Best Fortunes

Best Fortunes

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We call our dog Egypt, because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
We don't have to protect the environment -- the Second Coming is at hand." -- James Wa
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
-- Lily Tomli...
We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas.
-- Ronald Reaga...
WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT.
The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians....
Well, see, Joyce, there we were, trapped in the elevator.
Now, I had my tennis racquet and the goldfish; she was holding the Crisco....
Well, there was this tiger, who woke up one morning, and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tige
GREAAAAAAT). Anyway, he just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roare...
What can you use used tampons for? Tea bags for vampires.
What is the difficulty with writing a PDP-8 program to emulate Jerry Ford?
Figuring out what to do with the other 3K....
What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God.

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