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• Pascal n. An Algol-descended language designed by Niklaus Wirth on the CDC 6600 around 1967-68 as an instructional tool for elementary programming.
  This language, designed primarily to keep students from shooting themselves in the foot and thus extremely restrictive from a general-purpose-programming point of view, was later promoted as a general-purpose tool and, in fact, became the ancestor of a large family of languages including Modula-2 and Ada (see also bondage-and-discipline l summed up by a devastating (and, in its deadpan way, screamingly funny) 1981 paper by Brian Kernighan (of K&...
• Marge: I'm worried that you're making too big a deal of this silly little kiddie golf tournament.
  Homer: But Marge, but this is our big chance to show up the Flandereses....
• I'd feel better about doctors if it wasn't called 'Practice'.
• oll v.,n. 1. [From the Usenet group alt.folklore.
  urban] To utter a posting on Usenet designed to attract predictable responses or flame...
• Make other people like themselves a little better and rest assured they'll like you very much.
• How many uk.singles readers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Most of them. One female to notice that it had gone out and post something about how light bulbs are so masculine to the group, two to post in disagreeing with this, Susan Macran to post "Bog off stumpy!...
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the receipt. Okay, so you only bought your product X yesterday, the shop you bought it from probably only sells an X once in a blue moon and the shopkeeper in question has known you personally for a period of decades....
• Moe: Go on, take it all. Get it all out of here. Barney
  You know, Moe, you might want to keep the fire extinguishers....
• It is always preferable to visit home with a friend.
  Your parents will not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves and because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like mature human beings....