Related:

• How many Capricorns -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway....
• How many off-campus landlords -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. The students will just wreck it anyhow, so why bother?...
• How many pessimists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight....
• How many pessimists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None, it's a waste of time because the new bulb probably won't work either....
• How many people about to move out of the city -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  They don't bother, the neighborhood's been turning black anyway....
• How many atheists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. Atheists never "see the light" anyway do they?...
• How many atheists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. Atheists question whether it's really light anyway....
• How many holocaust revisionists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None, they just deny the bulb ever went out in the first place....
• How many Apple programmers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Only one, but why bother? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six months anyway....