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• Burns takes the puppies out of a bath] Burns: There you are.
  ..there you go, little fellow...and you. [one of the puppies stands on its hind legs] [gasps] Smithers, look...
• Oh, ever thus, from childhood's hour, I 've seen my fondest hopes decay
  I never loved a tree or flower But 't was the first to fade away....
• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up.
  -- Chuck Person, NBA Basketball playe...
• How would I know if I believe in love at first sight?
  he sexy social climber said to her roommate. "I mean, I've never seen a Porsche full of money before....
• Her stature tall,--I hate a dumpy woman.
  -- Lord Byron (1788-1824) -- Don Juan, Canto i, Stanza 61...
• I 've wandered east, I 've wandered west, Through many a weary way
  But never, never can forget The love of life's young day....
• Two sages were standing on a bridge over a stream. One said to the other, "I wish I were a fish.
  They are so happy." The other replied, "How do you know whether fish are happy or not?...
• How many lawyers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and 2 to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection !...