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• There is no such thing as an ugly woman -- there are only the ones who do not know how to make themselves attractive.
  -- Christian Dio...
• Burns: Smithers, guess what happened to me last night?
  Smithers: I don't know, sir. You had sex with that old woman?...
• I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us who rollerskate and smoke cigars?
  -- Homer Simpson, on Heaven The Telltale Head...
• Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is? Home
  No, I do not know what shaden-frawde is. [sarcasm] Please tell me, because I'm dying to know....
• Homer: It's a second wedding, honey. Our first one was so crummy, I had to make it up to you.
  I really love you. Marge: Oh, Homey. I know you love me....
• Marge: Lisa, Bart, what did you two learn in Sunday School today?
  Lisa: The answers to deep theological questions. Ba...
• Have you noticed that your body is playing little tricks on you lately?
  If you are a boy, you may have noticed your legs, face, arms, and chest are becoming covered with thick, black hairs and your voice may be beginning to sound like a phonograph needle ruining your favorite stack of platters....
• An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. -- Will Roge