Related:

• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• Bart: Who would have thought that our visit to Itchy and Scratchy Land would turn out to be our best vacation ever?
  Lisa: Yeah, best ever! Marge: Are you two bonkers?...
• Riker: "Locutus of Borg, this is Captain William T.
  Riker of the U.S.S. Enterprise." Locutus: "You may speak....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Bart: Come watch TV with me, Dad. We missed the first two episodes of "Cops", but if we hurry we can catch the last three.
  Homer: Aw, sorry Bart, Lisa and I are going out for a gelato....
• Marge: Are you all right, Homer? Homer: I'm fine, I'm just thinking.
  Marge: I've been thinking, too. You know Homer, you've always been such a good provider....
• If you do not know where you are going, you can take almost any road, in whatever direction, and it will get you there.
  Of course, when you get there you will be no more lost than you were when you were here....
• If I could read your mind, love, What a tale your thoughts could tell
  Just like a paperback novel, The kind the drugstore sells, When you reach the part where the heartaches come, The hero would be me, Heroes often fail, You won't read that book again, because the ending is just too hard to take....
• The challenge was to write a paragraph that read one way when punctuated one way, and read the complete opposite when punctuated another way.
  Dear President Clinton, Dear President Clinton, I would like to compliment you....