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• I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When there sudden comes a knockin' at the door.
  And that knocker, he says, "Honey, Roll this rocker out some money, Or your daddy shoots a baddie to the floor....
• If I ever become a mummy, I'm going to have it so when somebody opens my lid, a boxing glove on a spring shoots out.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Girl should not marry basketball player. He dribbles before he shoots.
• When I was a young man, I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman.
  Well, I found her -- but alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. -- Robert Schuma...
• Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets.
  I do not mean his maker, but himself. -- Dean Inge...
• A man serves best, when he serves himself.
• No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself. -- Greville
• When is the best time for a man to marry?) A young man not yet, an older man not at all.
  Francis Bacon (1561-1626)...