Related:

• Bart: Wow, Mom, I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before.
  Homer: Marge, I want you to take care of yourself out there....
• I [] My Cat. I [] My Dog. (Would you [] my ex-wife ?)
• Why didn't anyone tell me I have a bullet wound in my forehead?
• You see, you know they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it?
  Yeeees.... Well, I thought if I _owned_ the bullet with my name on it, I'd never get hit....
• If I could kick my own butt, I would amaze myself!
• I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't.
  So I grew hair under my arms instead. -- Sue Kolinsky...
• Well, my daddy left home when I was three, And he didn't leave much for Ma and me, Just and old guitar an'a empty bottle of booze.
  Now I don't blame him 'cause he ran and hid, But the meanest thing that he ever did, Was before he left he went and named me Sue....
• Occasionally, I have to think like myself to remember where I put something. -- Sue S. Taylo
• I shot the Moderator. I AM the Sysop, didn't shoot myself.