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• When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
  Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. -- Old Indian saying...
• You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!
  "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen!...
• You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!
  "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen!...
• You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!
  "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen....
• Homer: Dad, I have a problem. Abe: Why did you come to me?
  I don't know nothin'. I used to get by on my looks....
• Are you saying "Ni!" to that old woman?
• Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me.
  Mark Twain, from Home Conditions 1900, referring to a saying from his Grandmothe...
• A programmer from a very large computer company went to a software conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying
  What sort of programmers work for other companies?...