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• You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!
  "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen!...
• You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!
  "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen....
• What a wonderfully exciting cough! Do you mind if I join you?
  -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• Hey, er..." said Zaphod, "what's your name?" The man looked at them doubtfully.
  "I don't know. Why, do you think I should have one?...
• Aldebaran's great, okay, Algol's pretty neat, Betelgeuse's pretty girls Will knock you off your feet.
  They'll do anything you like Real fast and then real slow, But if you have to take me apart to get me there Then I don't want to go....
• Listen to me, Lucy Moran, you just listen. When the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors, naturally I applied.
  It's my civic duty and I like whales. A routine physical examination revealed that I'm sterile....
• You think you've got problems," said Marvin, the paranoid human-hating robot, as if he was addressing a newly occupied coffin, "what are you supposed to do if you ARE a manically depressed robot?
  No, don't bother to answer that, I'm fifty thousand times more intelligent than you and even I don't know the answer....
• I only know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions.
  And its current conditions are not good. -- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...