Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• Here lies my wife: her let her lie! Now she's at rest, and so am I.
  -- John Dryden, epitaph intended for his wife...
• Rachel: What? It's true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
  Dr. Green: Come on! You're just titling! [to Ross] Her legs are fine!...
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• Her lies my wife, let her rest She is peaceful and quiet and its best For when she is not talking and such I am able to enjoy the day very much If she will stay here
  let her be If you disturb her, you'll see....
• Homer: I _do_ have a story about two other young marrieds.
  .. [everyone turns back and sits down] Now, the wife of this couple has an interesting quirk in the bedroom....
• There was a young lady of Norway Who hung by her toes in a doorway.
  She said to her beau "Just look at me Joe I think I've discovered one more way....
• Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time.
  It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games....