Related:

• If I come back as an animal in my next lifetime, I hope it's some type of parasite, because this is the part where I take it EASY!
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
• If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep
  and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you....
• Some folks say it was a miracle. Saint Francis suddenly appeared and knocked the next pitch clean over the fence.
  But I think it was just a lucky swing. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If there's ever an amusement park called Bag World, I bet it would really start to annoy you after a while how they really sort of stretch the definition of "bag.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...