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• Joe sat as his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper.
  "Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make before I go....
• I work for the IRS....give me all your money!
• You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form.
  The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last names....
• And after you do all that work: An in-house IRS study revealed in February that the agency loses two million tax returns and related documents annually.
  One employee said that when preparing for audits, he routinely requests taxpayers' files from the state agencies because they are more likely to have the documents....
• Kilo: What you could have spent your money on if you hadn't bought the computer.
• Please provide the date of your death. -- from an IRS lette
• Come on, I wasn't born yesterday. More's the pity. We could have started your personality from scratch.
  -- Cpt. Darling and Edmund : Private Plane...
• Microsoft Mandatory Survey (#1) Customers who want to upgrade to Windows 98 Second Edition must now fill out a Microsoft survey online before they can order the bugfix/upgrade.
  Question 1: What is your opinion of the Microsoft antitrust trial?...