In Regards To Oral Roberts' Claim That God Told Him That He Would Die Unless He Received $

In Regards To Oral Roberts' Claim That God Told Him That He Would Die Unless He Received $

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In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he
received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has
not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that
If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
-- Dennis Miller, SNL News

Related:

It is coming up to March again, and Oral Roberts is looking for someone to hold him hostage.
God didn't want the job. God punished him for what he did the last time by leaving Oral in Oklahoma....
If God had wanted man to go around nude, He would have given him bigger hands.
If God had wanted man to fly, He would have given him airline tickets.
I don't exercise. I'm Jewish. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
JOAN RIVERS...
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
-- Dave Barry...