Related:

• EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of anothe
  from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell....
• It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of anothe
  from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell....
• ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ELOQUENCE, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be.
  It includes the gift of making any color appear white....
• REFLECTION, n. An action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details.
  Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice....