Related:

• The teacher asked three boys to write an essay. She said, "Write on what you would do if you had a million dollars, and bring it in tomorrow.
  So the next day the three little boys came in. She said to the first boy, "Percy, this is a nice essay on what you'd do with a million dollars....
• Homer: I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal.
  Lisa: I don't think real checks have exclamation points....
• Don't put in any time with Willie Horton visiting on weekends unless you can stand the publicity of appearing on a Republican ad for the Presidency of the United States.
• Yes, I've met Hillary Clinton. I was in Florida helping those poor Hurricane victims, and SHE came down for a photo opportunity.
  -- Marilyn Quayle on "McLaughli...
• In what can only be described as a surprise move, God has officially announced His candidacy for the U.
  S. presidency. During His press conference today, the first in over 4000 years, He is quoted as saying, "I think I have a chance for the White House if I can just get my campaign pulled together in time....
• Homer: Hey, you guys aren't from around here, are you?
  Man 1: Ach, nein. We are from Chermany. He is from ze East....
• So I said to my boyfriend, Don't be a fool! We'll take the million!
• XLVII: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water.
  The other third is covered with auditors from headquarters....
• EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN CORPORATE AMERICA Part 2 of 2 17.
  All things being equal, fat people use more soap. 18....