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• If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.
• You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.
  -- W. Somerset Maugham...
• You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.
  -- W. Somerset Maugham, "The Circle...
• Funny thing about being a parent. There aren't any tech manual
  no quick readouts to get you through the next set of variables....
• You may be redneck... if hitchhikers refuse to get in your car with you.
• As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are interested in the basic nature of humor.
  What kind of a sick perverted disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make jokes about setting fire to a goat?...
• People who believe, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," will refuse to talk to you.