Related:

• Rules for Good Grammar #4. 1: Don't use no double negatives.
  2: Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents....
• If I could read your mind, love, What a tale your thoughts could tell
  Just like a paperback novel, The kind the drugstore sells, When you reach the part where the heartaches come, The hero would be me, Heroes often fail, You won't read that book again, because the ending is just too hard to take....
• Guru Saj: You must be Ross. Ross: Hi. Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj.
  (takes the drawer back and replaces) Ross: Listen, I got to tell you I_ve-I_ve never been to a guru before, so....
• Ms.K: [writing] When I read your letters, I feel as if you are right here watching me.
  [looks up, Bart is watching her] -- "Bart the Love...
• Homer: If you ever find your marbles, come visit us.
  Man: Well, how about today? I'm only here voluntarily....
• You know you have a small apartment when... your wall-to-wall carpet is a welcome mat.
  -- S. Rickly Christia...
• When you point your finger 'cause your plan fell through You got three more fingers pointing back at you!
  -- Mark Knoppfle...
• When you point your finger cause your plans fell through you've got three more fingers pointing back at you.
  -- Mark Knopfle...
• When you call a cat it says "Put it in writing and I'll get back to ya".