Related:

• Burns: Smithers, I've just seen the most heroic dog on television.
  He pulled a toddler from the path of a speeding car, then pushed a criminal in front of it....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday evening and walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces.
  He turns to a gorgeous woman, who is obviously windowshopping, looks her straight in the eye and says, "I can tell by your eyes that you really want that necklace....
• Burns: Oh please please, don't fight. Just go out back and have a good time.
  [to Smithers] Fire that man Smithers, I don't want him, or his unpleasant family to ruin my picnic....
• A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden.
  Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like the proverbial bat out of hell, and hot on his heels ran the Game Warden....
• This one is for all you military types. For those who don't know, Rangers are *extremely* well trained members of the U.
  S. Army. Marines are people who start out as normal soldiers and then are made to believe that bullets don't actually hurt....
• You used to have a rabbit. Beautiful little thing. Do you remember?
  Flossy. That's right. Flossy. Do you remember what happened to Flossy?...
• The basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than cities.
  Cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in....