Related:

• The gas-station attendant looks at the car and says, "You got a flat tire.
  I said, "No, the other three just swelled up." -- Bill Engval...
• Homer: Lisa! Lisa! Come back before everyone finds out what a horrible father I am.
  Lisa: Hi dad. Looking for me? Homer: I don't know....
• Oh, I am just a typical American boy From a typical American town.
  I believe in God and Senator Dodd And keeping old Castro down....
• Oh I'm just a typical American boy From a typical American town.
  I believe in God and Senator Dodd And keeping old Castro down....
• On his way back from work, a driver came upon a horrible wreck in which one car looked exactly like his neighbor's.
  Stopping hurriedly on the side of the road, he ran toward the smoldering debris....
• If you say no, my brother and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of the week.
  -- The Blues Brothe...
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• I didn't do it! It's really San Andreas' fault!
• Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine.
  You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home....