Related:

• Some have thought that I perhaps do not care for Dan Quayle as our current Vice President.
  This is incorrect. I love the man so much I literally worship the quicksand he walks on....
• Homer: Aw, I need a hug. [everyone pauses, then hugs him] How come you guys hesitated?
  Lisa: Sorry, Dad, we _do_ believe in you, we really do....
• A man's gotta do - whatever his wife tells him to!
• I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
  -- Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)...
• The real problem with Dan Quayle is that no one is sure of his qualificatio
  o no one can speak with any authority about what kind of work he is out of, or what is needed for him to find something to do....
• So have I heard, and do in part believe it. But, look, the morn, in russet mantle clad, Walks o'er the dew of yon high eastward hill.
  -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet -- Act i, Sc. 1...
• A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress, so he goes to his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint.
  The VWD examines him and, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross examine him about his recent diet....
• I like sex. (Big letters) Since I don't have sex in your office, and I probably like sex more than you like smoking, please do not smoke in my office.
  -- Sign in office...
• At about 2500 A.D., humankind discovers a computer problem that *must* be solved.
  The only difficulty is that the problem is NP complete and will take thousands of years even with the latest optical biologic technology available....