Related:

• Willy: Yeah, I bought your mutt. And I 'ate him!
  [raises a huge bone of meat] [Bart gasps] [tears meat off the bone] I 'ate his little face, I 'ate his guts, and I 'ate the way he's always barkin'!...
• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• Well, it's a little rough... it might not be necessary to drag him 40 blocks.
  Maybe just four. You could put him in the trunk for the first 36 blocks, then haul him out and drag him the last fou...
• One day an elderly Jewish Pole, living in Warsaw, finds an old lamp in his attic.
  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in cloud of smoke....
• Just look at that face. The face of a thinker, a warrior, a man for all seasons.
  Yet, Ira Graves was not perfect. Perhaps his greatest flaw was that he was too selfless....
• Sean asked me to marry him, but he didn't say it out loud.
  So I read his mind back to him. -- Madonna...
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes!
  -- James Joyce, _Ulysses_...
• To be a real folk-song singer you have to collect the songs straight from the horse's mouth.
  The way to do this is to go to a village and find the oldest inhabitant and ask him to sing you the songs his mother taught me....