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• For birth control, I rely on my personality. -- Milt Abel
• Dimoxinil can help me grow as much, or as little, hair as I want to.
  -- advertisement for a hair restoration treatment, "Simpson and Delilah...
• I want to help you, George Washington"? Pfft, even your dreams are square.
  -- Bart to Lisa, "Lisa the Iconocla...
• CONNECT 110?!? Help! I'm in s l o w m o t i o n !!
• Barkis is willin'. -- Charles Dickens (1812-1870) -- David Copperfield, Chap. v
• Help! I have tagophobia!
• Help . . . I need someBODY!!!
• Herb: I want you to help me design a car. A car for all the Homer Simpsons out there!
  And I want to pay you two hundred thousand dollars a year!...
• I want EARS! I want two ROUND BLACK EARS to make me feel warm 'n secure!! -- Zippy the Pinhead