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• When I was born, my family was so poor my mother couldn't afford to use talcum powder on me.
  So she used to douse me with kitchen baking soda ....
• And often did beguile her of her tears, When I did speak of some distressful stroke That my youth suffer'd.
  My story being done, She gave me for my pains a world of sigh...
• Everthing is farther away than it used to be. It is even twice as far to the corner and they have added a hill.
  I have given up running for the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I used to be a rebel in my youth. This cause... that cause.
  .. (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems....
• I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
  Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
• BG: Lisa, I sure am glad you dropped by. You're the first visitor I've had.
  Lisa: What about your family? BG: I don't really have a family....
• Lunchtime. My momma used to pack those tongue sandwiches.
  And I couldn't eat them tongue sandwiches. I couldn't eat tongue....
• She was ugly! She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl who's so ugly, when you go out with her you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
  She was so ugly, you look in the dictionary under "ugly" and you see her picture....