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I Was Born By Caesarian Section...but Not So You'd Notice.
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I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice. It's just that when
I leave a house, I go out through the window.
-- Steven Wright
Related:
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.
-- Steven Wrigh...
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
-- Steven Wrigh...
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above.
..so I never have to go upstairs. -- Steven Wrigh...
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.
-- Stephen Wrigh...
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street, except the little kids, I go out and lift my house up over my head.
I tell them to stay out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -- Steven Wrigh...
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now.
But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." -- Steven Wrigh...
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
-- Steven Wrigh...
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident.
I hit a bookmark. -- Steven Wrigh...