Related:

• I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out.
  The weatherman said "I don't understand it. I was supposed to be 80 degrees today," and I said "Oops....
• I've really got into astronomy lately. So much so that I have installed a skylight in my ceiling.
  This really upsets the people that live above me. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings.
  .. Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I have a microwave fireplace in my house...The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice.
  It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -- Steven Wrigh...
• My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. -- Steven Wrigh
• I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age. -- Steven Wrigh