Related:

• Ryan: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox.
  I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face....
• He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone. -- Jesus Chri
• Aunt Patty: "Nothing dear, I'm just trashing your father.
  Lisa: "Well, I wish you wouldn't because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have therefore he is my model of manhood and my estimation of him will govern my prospects of my adult relationships....
• Lisa: What, Aunt Patty? Patty: Oh, nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father.
  Lisa: Well, I wish you wouldn't because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have....
• Neral: "What do you know of this human? Jean-Luc Picard.
  A Starfleet captain?" Pardek: "I know nothing of him....
• A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let him leave the room.
  Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said, "All right, Sonny, you may go now....
• Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy
  because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else....
• Bart: I don't believe it! Principal Skinner. Well, well, well, I never thought I'd win _this_ easy.
  Skinner: Hmph. This has nothing to do with you, Simpson....
• When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.
  ' -- Erma Bombeck...