Related:

• I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds. -- Steven Wrigh
• When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
  I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wrigh...
• The other day I put instant coffee in my microwave oven .
  .. I almost went back in time. -- Steven Wrigh...
• The other day I put instant coffee in my microwave oven .
  .. I almost went back in time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information.
  She said they were behind the couch. She was right. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information.
  She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks....
• When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?
  ' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' -- Steven Wrigh...
• I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.
  I told my roommate, "Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with an exact replica....
• I woke up one morning and looked around the room. Something wasn't right.
  I realized that someone had broken in the night before and replaced everything in my apartment with an exact replica....