Related:

• I love my wife and my Turbo C, sure miss he
• My mom called me last night... I'm over it now... I was thinking of calling her back.
  .. There it passed......
• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....
• My ex-wife's a cat lover. I sent her a kzin for her birthday.
• My wife--God bless her--was in labor for thirty-two hours.
  And I was faithful to her the entire time. -- Jonathan Katz...
• My wife doesn't give me any trouble anymore. She died.
  I had her cremated. I mixed in a little marijuana and smoked her....
• My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay In better spirits night and day.
• They say I married my wife because her uncle left her a whole lot of money.
  That's not true. I would've married her no matter who left her the money....
• Well I looked at my watch and it said a quarter to five, The headline screamed that I was still alive, I couldn't understand it, I thought I died last night.
  I dreamed I'd been in a border town, In a little cantina that the boys had found, I was desperate to dance, just to dig the local sounds....