Related:

• LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers -- particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.
  Lead is also of great service as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way....
• DICTIONARY, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic.
  This dictionary, however, is a most useful work. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADAMANT, n. A mineral frequently found beneath a corset.
  Soluble in solicitate of gold. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters -- the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably
  a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind....
• CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PLAUDITS, n. Coins with which the populace pays those who tickle and devour it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Rabble: In a republic, those who hold supreme power tempered by fraudulent elections.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...