Related:

• He was a man, which, as Plato saith, is a very inconstant creature.
  -- Plutarch (46-120 AD) -- On the Tranquillity of the Mind...
• Pittacus said, "Every one of you hath his particular plague, and my wife is mine
  and he is very happy who hath this only....
• The pilot cannot mitigate the billows or calm the winds.
  -- Plutarch (46-120 AD) -- On the Tranquillity of the Mind...
• The chief good is the suspension of the judgment, which tranquillity of mind follows like its shadow.
  -- Diogenes Laertius (c. 200 AD) -- Pyrrho, xi...
• There was a young man named Crockett Whose balls got caught in a socket.
  His wife was a bitch, And she threw the switch, As Crockett went off like a rocket....
• Alexander wept when he heard from Anaxarchus that there was an infinite number of world
  and his friends asking him if any accident had befallen him, he returns this answe...
• Laughing at his own son, who got his mother, and by his mother's means his father also, to indulge him, he told him that he had the most power of any one in Greece
  For the Athenians command the rest of Greece, I command the Athenians, your mother commands me, and you command your mother....
• During a fight, a husband threw a bowl of Jello at his wife.
  She had him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon....
• On this morning in August when I was 13, my mother sent us out pick tomatoes.
  Back in April I'd have killed for a fresh tomato, but in August they are no more rare or wonderful than rocks....