Related:

• My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration.
  I'll get back to you pending credit approval....
• mean time between failures -- when you get an "F" on your report card and you take it out on your dog.
• mumble interj. 1. Said when the correct response is too complicated to enunciate, or the speaker has not thought it out.
  Often prefaces a longer answer, or indicates a general reluctance to get into a long discussion....
• Bart: Dad, I'm really sorry, but I charged $350 on your credit card.
  Homer: What?! Bart: Don't worry, here's the cash!...
• When standing in the middle of a pasture, if the bull starts to charge, know that your credit card will be of absolutely no help whatsoever.
• Talk about excitement. If you really want to have excitement in your life, try raising rabbits.
  Every day is a hare raising event! (I think it is time for an apology, sorry, really sorry about this one!...
• Burns: [looking up from his magazine] Smithers, what's the meaning of this slacking off?
  Smithers: Uh, there's a bee in my eye, sir. Bu...
• Hacker's Guide To Cooking: 2 pkg. cream cheese (the mushy white stuff in silver wrappings that doesn't really come from Philadelphia after all
  anyway, about 16 oz.) 1 tsp. vanilla extract (which is more alcohol than vanilla and pretty strong so this part you *GOTTA* measure) 1/4 cup sugar (but honey works fine too) 8 oz....
• Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $
  0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone....