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• As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are interested in the basic nature of humor.
  What kind of a sick perverted disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make jokes about setting fire to a goat?...
• Why not REPLY and make this person happy!!
• The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
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• Why don't they make mouse-flavored cat food?