Related:

• PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male.
  The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion....
• EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HEMP, n. A plant from whose fibrous bark is made an article of neckwear which is frequently put on after public speaking in the open air and prevents the wearer from taking cold.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• SANDLOTTER, n. A vertebrate mammal holding the political views of Denis Kearney, a notorious demagogue of San Francisco, whose audiences gathered in the open spaces (sandlots) of the town.
  True to the traditions of his species, this leader of the proletariat was finally bought off by his law-and-order enemies, living prosperously silent and dying impenitently rich....
• ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...