Related:

• Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.
• I told my mother I was going to have natural childbirth.
  She said to me, "Linda, you've been taking drugs all your life....
• Mother told me (yes, she told me) I'd meet girls like you.
  She also told me "Stay away. You never know what you'll catch....
• My mother loves ME! It's the computer she hates.
• Lisa: Mom, you've been cooking all night? Marge: [happy] Judge, jury, and executioner, all rolled into one, you are!
  Lisa: See, Dad, I told you Mom would have problems....
• Nothing that's forced can ever be right, If it doesn't come naturally, leave it.
  That's what she said as she turned out the light, And we bent our backs as slaves of the night, Then she lowered her guard and showed me the scars She got from trying to fight Saying, oh, you'd better believe it....
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip