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• I like the "Fat Elvis" stamp better.
• Stamp out the post office! Mail electronically.
• 7,140 pounds on the Sun 97 pounds on Mercury or Mars 255 pounds on Earth 232 pounds on Venus or Uranus 43 pounds on the Moon 648 pounds on Jupiter 275 pounds on Saturn 303 pounds on Neptune 13 pounds on Pluto -- How much Elvis Presley would weigh at various places in the solar system.
• Elvis is alive and doing my laundry.
• Elvis is my copilot. -- Cal Keega
• Frank is my Elvis. -- Matt Groening
• 10) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant??
  I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....
• Dear Ms. Postnews: I couldn't get mail through to somebody on another site.
  What should I do? -- Eager Beaver Dear Eage...
• I joined a health club. I was watching these jerks work out.
  This guy is working out with weights, and he's got a T-shirt on that says, "No Pain, No Gain....