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• How many SAS men -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and two to shout GO! GO! GO!...
• How many Asians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and two to go to the cash & carry....
• How many circus performers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Four: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!...
• How many waitresses -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. Two to stand around bitching about it and one to go get the manager....
• If you can't find your inspiration by walking around the block one time, go around two blocks--but never three.
  -- Robert Motherwell...
• How many drummers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One .. Two, and a-one two three fou...
• Louie, Louie, me gotta go Louie, Louie, me gotta go Fine little girl she waits for me Me catch the ship for cross the sea Me sail the ship all alone Me never thinks me make it home [chorus] Three nights and days me sail the sea Me think of girl constantly On the ship I dream she there I smell the rose in her hair [choru
• How many Aggies -- does it take to eat an armadillo?
  Three, one to eat it, and two to watch for traffic....
• How many blacks -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three: One to boogie up the ladder, two to keep the beat....