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• Then there's the atmosphere -- half the time you can eat the air, it's got so much stuff floating around in it.
  It takes the edge out of the colors. Down here even the traffic lights are pastel....
• How many waitresses -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. Two to stand around bitching about it and one to go get the manager....
• A 2 cent piece goes a long way nowadays - you can carry one around in your pocket for days before you can find anything to buy with it!
• Welcome back for you 13th consecutive week, Evelyn.
  Evelyn, will you go into the auto-suggestion booth and take your regular place on the psycho-prompter couch?...
• Do you mind if I jump up on your head? I feel like a walk around the block. -- Jack Kirkwood
• Hit the ball over the fence, and you can take your time going around the bases. -- John Rape
• gopher n. A type of Internet service first floated around 1991 and obsolesced around 1995 by the World Wide Web.
  Gopher presents a menuing interface to a tree or graph of link...
• Success is women you don't even know walking around your house. -- Saturday Night Live
• You think New York is bad? You ought to go to Detroit.
  You can go ten blocks and never leave the scene of the crime. -- Red Skelto...