Related:

• Never wear anything that panics the cat. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• Conover: And Bart's childish taunting agitated the Aussies further.
  Homer: Oh, he'll agitate you. Ho, ho! He sure will....
• Never put anything on paper ... and never trust a man with a small black mustache.
  -- P. G. Wodehouse...
• So we 'll go no more a-roving So late into the night. -- Lord Byron (1788-1824) -- So we 'll go
• Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times.
  In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it....
• We have fun--that's what I like about bowling. You can have fun even if you stink, unlike in, say, tennis.
  Every decade or so, I attempt to play tennis, and it always consists of thirty-seven seconds of actually hitting the ball and two hours of yelling, "Where did the ball go?...
• Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
• Never fight an inanimate object. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your boss.