Related:

• Content: 80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRON.. The waitress's UNIFORM sheds TARTAR SAUCE like an 8'' by 10'' GLOSSY.
  . -- Zippy the Pinhead...
• I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them.
  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them.
  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• 8 out of 10 men writes with a Parker pen. What do the others do with it?
• Beware of the fool whose volume of words is as that of ten men, a hundred arrows shot and each one wide of the target.
  If thou art wise, shoot one and that one straight. -- Bustan of Sadi...
• America, Russia and Japan are sending up a two year shuttle mission with one astronaut from each country.
  Since it's going to be two long, lonely years up there, each may bring any form of entertainment weighing 150 pounds or less....
• From what I could make out, they were bragging, insulting each other, and telling off color jokes.
  And there was duct tape on their vehicles. I guess some things are universal....
• Lemma: All horses are the same color. Proof (by induction)
  Case n = 1: In a set with only one horse, it is obvious that all horses in that set are the same color....
• Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white?
  Didn't they have color film back then?" "Sure they did....