Related:

• Hillary's testoserone level is up again.
• A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday evening and walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces.
  He turns to a gorgeous woman, who is obviously windowshopping, looks her straight in the eye and says, "I can tell by your eyes that you really want that necklace....
• Bart: [hurt] Hey, Mom, you didn't wake me up. Marge
  Here's your hot chocolate. Bart: [looking at other cups] You didn't put my marshmallow in....
• If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time.
  Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year....
• If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time.
  Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year....
• Two Swedish guys get of a ship and head for the nearest bars.
  Each one orders two vodkas and immediately downs them....
• JACK AND THE BEANSTACK -- by Mark Isaak Long ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL character named Jack.
  Jack and his relations were poor. Often their hash table was bare....