Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I observe that there are two entirely different theories according to which individual men seek to get on in the world.
  One theory leads a man to pull down everyone around him in order to climb on them to a higher place....
• A farmer decides that his three sows should be bred, and contacts a buddy down the road, who owns several boars.
  They agree on a stud fee, and the farmer puts the sows in his pickup and takes them down the road to the boars....
• Skinner: Looks like you got an enemy, Chief. You know, folks here don't much care for law and order types.
  Wiggum: [picks the skull up with a pencil] Is that right?...
• A man goes into a bar and begins to tell a Polish joke.
  The man sitting next to him, a big hulking powerhouse, turns and says menacingly, "*I'm* Polish....
• Burns: The watchdog of public safety...is there any lower form of life?
  Smithers: Don't worry sir, I rounded up our less gifted employees and led them into the basement....
• Boxing is the only sport in the world where two men get paid for doing something to each other that if they did otherwise
  hey would get arrested for doing, particularly if one or both of them had been drinking beforehand....
• At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?
  "Really?" the other replied, "Why did you switch?...
• Two men looked out from the prison bars, One saw mud-- The other saw stars.
  Now let me get this right: two prisoners are looking out the window....