Related:

• He played a mean guitar ... loved to drive in his Jag-u-a
• Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger.
  He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure....
• When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman.
  After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us....
• When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman.
  After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us....
• Bart: I didn't know you played the guitar, Otto-Man!
  Otto: Hey, that's all I <did> in high school! -- "Otto Show...
• Bart: Can I, Mom? Can I take the job? Marge: Well -- Home
  Why not? I remember my first after school job. I was in a band....
• Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so that his arms and legs form "spokes.
  Happiness is when he stops. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• My friends, I am here to tell you of the wonderous continent known as Africa.
  Well we left New York drunk and early on the morning of February 31....
• A woman on the Fifth Avenue bus was being a nuisance.
  Every five minutes she'd pester the driver, "Are we on Riverside Drive yet?...