Related:

• On the old "You Bet Your Life" program, Groucho Marx was getting to know one of his contestants.
  The man told Groucho that he had 10 children. "Why so many children?...
• G M: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children? S
  Yes, thirteen. G M: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden?...
• My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. -- Groucho Marx
• My mother loved children---she would have given anything if I had been one.
  -- Groucho Marx, 1890-1977...
• In the Plaza Hotel once, when I was doing the quiz show, there was a priest in the elevator.
  I hope you're not offended by this--I'd tell a story about a rabbi but it doesn't fit, and neither did the rabbi and they finally threw him out of the synagogue....
• As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
  -- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)...
• Those are my principles, and if you don't like them.
  .. well, I have others. -- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)...